Invitation Etiquette with Invitations By Dawn

Dear Dawn,

I need help with my invitations! I have an inner envelope, an outer envelope, an invitation, a reception card, a response card and a map to include. What is the correct way to assemble them before I send them out?

Tina
Steinbach, MB

Advice for Tina

Start with the invitation on the bottom, printed side facing up. Then stack the reception card, map card and respond card on top. Insert all four pieces into the inner envelope with the printed sides facing the flap. Then put the inner envelope into the outer envelope with front (addressed side) facing the flap. Then, repeat for each invitation!

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Dear Dawn,

We have a very complicated family circle. My parents are divorced and my mom is remarried. My fiancé’s parents are also divorced and both are remarried. All four parents are helping pay for the wedding, but putting four parents and three stepparents on one invitation just seems like a little much! What is the correct way to word the invitation?

Julie
Morden, MB

Advice for Julie

One option is to word the invitation in a way that includes everyone without listing their names, something like: Name and Name, along with their parents / families, invite you to celebrate with them, etc. If you do want to list all the parents’ names on the invitation, there’s no reason you can’t – just be sure to choose a shorter wording so everything fits and that the names of the divorced parents don’t appear on the same line. Only the names of couples should appear together on one line to avoid confusion.

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Dear Dawn,

My fiancé is an officer in the Royal Canadian Military and a lot of our invited guests are as well. In the past, invitations to my husband have come addressed to him by title and others as Mr. Should I be addressing his fellow officers by title on the invitation?

Samantha
Winnipeg, MB

Advice for Samantha

Ask your fiancé what he prefers and go with that. If he doesn’t have a preference, pick which you like best. If you decide to use titles, here is some advice: Avoid abbreviating military titles, and if a husband and wife have the same military rank and service, use the title followed by both full names on the outer envelope: Captains John and Jane Johnson. The inner envelope should be addressed: The Captains Johnson. If a husband and wife have different services and different ranks, list both ranks: Captain Paul and Major Sally Brown. The most important thing is to be consistent with all your guests.

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Dear Dawn,

I know it is considered poor etiquette to mention gifts on the invitation, but my fiancé and I have been living together for nearly 5 years already. We already have everything we need. Is there a correct way to let guests know we’d prefer cash gifts rather then “things”?

Teresa
Brandon, MB

Advice for Teresa

It is against proper etiquette to mention gifts or a gift registry on the invitation, but you can let your guests know your preference by telling close family members. Ask them to spread the word. Also, be sure to mention your preference when you are asked what kind of shower you’d like. It’s still not proper to just ask for cash, but explain to the hostesses your preference and see if you can come up with something creative, like a “honeymoon fund shower.” Be sure to accept all gifts graciously, even if it’s not money.

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Dear Dawn,

My mother-in-law insists that I write a personal thank you note for each gift received and that I mention what they gave as well. The problem is that three of my fiancé’s cousins sent us the same gift! Should I explain in the note about the duplicates and let them know what we exchanged it for?

Jeanine
Dauphin, MB

Advice for Jeanine

Your mother-in-law is correct, always mention the gift and how much you appreciate it, but never say you’re going to return it. Tell the giver how you’ll use it, and make sure it’s in use when they come to visit. But don’t tell them you’ve returned it or that you received duplicates.

Invitation Etiquette answers and all photos provided by the experts at Invitations By Dawn